The feeling is not there anymore between you and your spouse. The two of you seldom talk anymore and find ways to stay apart. Although you made a concerted effort to save the marriage through counseling, the sessions left you feeling empty.
Is divorce inevitable? Perhaps. However, before pursuing this route, it is time for some self-examination. You need to determine whether this is the only choice for you. In doing so, it is important to address a few questions and answer them as honestly as you can.
Happiness, finances and the children
Among the questions you should consider include:
- Can I regain happiness?: At the same time, you must determine whether you will be happier without your spouse. If so, understand that your life has changed, and you can gain new interests, hobbies, friendships and relationships. Maybe you felt inhibited in your marriage. It is time to change that and regain your smile.
- Am I prepared for the financial challenges?: Many things in your life will change, and you will find your finances stretched to the limit as a single parent raising children. It may be a good idea to meet with a financial adviser for additional perspective.
- What are some of my biggest fears?: Maybe you do not relish being single again and fear you may be alone for the rest of your life. Also, you may fear losing that physical intimacy you once shared with your spouse.
- How will my children react to the divorce?: Children often sense things better than their parents think they do. But they are still children, so expect emotions such as confusion, sadness and anger to bubble up. Comfort and reassure them that their parents shall remain in their lives.
Only after carefully addressing these and other important questions should you consider taking that step toward divorce.
Taking care of yourself
Protect yourself by taking care of yourself. Maybe talking with trusted friends can provide certain insights. However, only you can answer these questions and determine your next step in life. Think of this as another challenge that you can overcome.