When we get married, we expect it to last forever. After all, most wedding vows include the phrase “until death do us part” for a reason, right? Many people do follow the trope and remain married for the rest of their lives. For some couples, though, the marriage ends in divorce.
So, if you’re in a long-term marriage, how do you know when it’s time to throw in the proverbial towel? Each couple’s situation is different, but there are certain indicators that it might be best to part ways.
Are you spending more time apart than together?
It’s perfectly normal – and healthy – to have different interests than your partner does. That being said, if there comes a time that you are purposely spending time away from your spouse just for the sake of being apart, you should seriously look at the health of your marriage.
Is your health suffering?
A bad marriage can put a strain on you mentally and physically. Some people slide into unhealthy habits like drinking too much or relying heavily on “comfort foods” to cope. Others show signs of depression or anxiety. A good marriage will build you up, while a bad one can make you feel bad about yourself. This can lead to letting go of productive habits like working out or eating right.
Are the lines of communication open?
Is it getting harder and harder to communicate with your spouse, even about little things? Does every discussion turn into a fight? Divorce may be inevitable if partners cannot talk about issues big and small. A good couples’ therapist might help get the ball rolling on a long-needed chat about the health of the marriage and may be enough to turn things around. If you find yourself ignoring your spouse, though, or putting off discussions about important issues like finances or your children’s needs, it’s important to evaluate things.
Of course, these aren’t the only indicators that a divorce is in the cards. When you think that it is time to move forward with a divorce, it might behoove you to reach out to an advocate who can offer advice about protecting your rights throughout the process.